IS YOUR MIND PLAYING FINANCIAL TRICKS ON YOU? THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SPENDING
By Natasha Janssens
When it comes to managing our finances, we often associate money with numbers and by association – logic. We mistakenly think that in order to start saving or rein in our spending all we need is to set up a budget. And so it is that we fall into the trap of so many before us – we start off with the best of intentions only to find that little, if anything has changed. In fact, our spending may have even gotten worse.
If this is sounding familiar, know that it isn’t you. You aren’t bad with money. You haven’t failed at budgeting. You just haven’t been taught which levers to pull in order to get the outcomes you want.
What drives our financial decisions
Much like our relationship with food, our relationship with money is driven primarily by our emotions, instincts and habits. The challenge is that money and technology have evolved faster than our brains have been able to adapt, which puts us at a disadvantage: the modern world has been designed to capitalise on our emotions and survival instincts, prompting us to spend. And to make matters worse, most of us have not been taught how to tune into what we feel. Instead, we were taught that feelings (especially negative ones) are a sign of weakness, something to be ignored or supressed.
Why our emotions run the show
While we may try to tune out what we feel, or perhaps never even notice our feelings until they reach critical mass, research has discovered that it is the emotional and instinctual parts of our brain (aka our subconscious) that fire off neurons quicker than our logical or ‘thinking’ brain (aka our conscious mind). In other words, you have already made a decision based on your emotional needs, before you have even had a chance to think it through. The end result is that as much as we know what we should do, we often end up doing something entirely different.
Where do our emotional responses come from?
Have you ever wondered why something might upset one person but not trigger any emotional response from another? This is because humans are meaning making machines – we develop stories about events in order to help us make sense of them. These stories and conclusions we reach are largely shaped by what we learned as children - the stories, behaviours and habits we observed from the adults around us. It is from these childhood influences that we not only learned what a certain situation means or how it should make us feel, but also how we should respond in that circumstance. Repeating the same coping mechanism to an emotion time and again eventually becomes a habit, and something we do without giving it a second thought.
What do our emotions have to do with money?
As it turns out, everything! Money has become a tool that we were unwittingly taught to use in order to cope with how we feel. Whether that is by comfort eating, reaching for a glass of wine after a stressful day, or shopping to cheer ourselves up.
So where does that leave us?
Well, if money has become our emotional crutch, then fixing our spending habits isn’t about more discipline or tighter budgets. It’s about getting curious. When we pause to ask why we’re spending—rather than just what we’re spending on—we begin to uncover the deeper needs driving our behaviour.
For example:
Are you overspending on takeaways? That might not be laziness—it could be a sign that you’re exhausted and craving ease or a break from the relentless decision-making that comes with daily life.
Are you shopping online late at night? Perhaps it’s not about the stuff—it’s about soothing loneliness, boredom, or even trying to reclaim a sense of control after a chaotic day.
Do you spoil your kids or partner with gifts? It might be less about generosity and more about trying to prove your worth or avoid conflict.
It is only when we understand the emotional payoff we’re chasing, that we can start to meet those needs in ways that don’t sabotage our bank balance.
Practical Tips to Shift Your Spending Patterns
If you’re ready to start rewiring your financial habits, here are some simple, practical steps to help you tune in and spend with greater intention:
1. Pause Before You Purchase
Give your conscious mind a chance to catch up. Before tapping your card or hitting “buy now,” take a breath and ask: What am I feeling right now? It could be stress, sadness, frustration, or even celebration. Naming your emotion creates space between impulse and action.
2. Identify the Real Need
Ask yourself: What am I hoping this purchase will give me? Is it comfort, validation, escape, excitement, or a sense of control? Once you identify the deeper need, brainstorm other (non-financial) ways to meet it.
3. Track Emotional Spending Patterns
Start an “emotional spending diary” for a week. Don’t just record what you spent—note how you were feeling at the time and what was happening in your day. Patterns will start to emerge, giving you powerful insights into your habits and triggers.
Remember, changing how you manage money isn’t about willpower—it’s about self-awareness. Once you understand the emotional roots of your behaviour, you can begin to make choices from a place of intention, not reactivity.
MUSE PAPER
ISSUE 05
ABOUT NATASHA
Natasha Janssens is a financial educator, money mindset expert, and founder of Women With Cents. Follow Natasha on Instagram [@womenwithcents].
Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. For personalised financial guidance, please consult a licensed financial advisor or professional.