THE PERMISSION SLIP YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MONTH
By Nicole Fuge
If you’ve been waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to let something go, here it is: you have permission.
Permission to cancel that coffee date you’ve been dreading. Permission to skip the bake sale this time. Permission to say no to that committee, project, or “quick favour” that will quietly swallow your week.
We’ve been taught that “self-care” is about adding things… the morning yoga class, the perfect skincare routine, the Sunday meal prep. But sometimes the most powerful act of self-love is subtracting.
This month, I want you to drop one thing you don’t actually want to do. Not because you’re lazy or selfish, but because you’re allowed to choose what matters to you.
Why Letting Go Feels So Hard
If the thought of bowing out makes you squirm, you’re not alone. Many of us have been raised to believe that a good woman is endlessly available, agreeable, and reliable. We overcommit because we want to be liked, respected, or needed.
But every “yes” comes at a cost. It’s not just the time it takes, it’s the energy drain, the mental clutter, and the resentment that can creep in. By dropping one non-essential commitment, you create space for rest, joy, or simply breathing room.
Step One: Choose Your ‘One Thing’
Your one thing doesn’t have to be dramatic. It could be as simple as skipping the school committee meeting this month, postponing a DIY home project, or saying no to a weekend trip you’re not excited about.
Ask yourself:
Does this bring me joy or purpose?
If I dropped this, would it truly matter in a month’s time?
Am I doing this out of obligation or genuine desire?
If your answers point to obligation, there’s your candidate.
Step Two: Give Yourself the Language
Sometimes it’s not the act of dropping something that feels scary, it’s how to say it. That’s where a little script can help:
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m not able to commit to that right now.”
“I won’t be able to make it this time, but I hope it goes beautifully.”
“I’m saying no this month to make space for some personal priorities.”
You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation. Your boundaries don’t require a sales pitch.
Step Three: Sit With the Discomfort
You might feel guilt or worry about how others will react. That’s normal, it’s just the old conditioning talking.
Remember: someone else’s disappointment is not your responsibility to fix. You’re not letting people down; you’re showing them what it looks like to honour your own limits. And often, they’ll respect you more for it.
Step Four: Enjoy the Space You’ve Created
Dropping one thing isn’t about filling that time with more productivity. It’s about giving yourself the gift of nothing. Maybe you use it to read in bed, walk in the sun, or simply sit in silence.
That breathing room is where your mind unclutters, your body relaxes, and your creativity recharges. And it’s often in these quiet moments that the best ideas and insights arrive.
The Ripple Effect
Here’s the magic: once you see how freeing it feels to drop one thing, you’ll start doing it more often. Not recklessly, but intentionally.
Over time, you’ll notice your calendar feels lighter, your “yes” means more, and you have more energy for the things (and people) that actually matter.
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