TIRED BUT WIRED: WHY SO MANY WOMEN ARE ANXIOUSLY EXHAUSTED
By Nicole Fuge
You’re doing less. You’re saying no. You’re cancelling plans to be “good” to yourself. So why do you still feel completely fried, eyes wide open at 3am, unable to rest?
If this is you, welcome to the club. It’s called being tired but wired, and it’s become the mental health baseline for a generation of women trying to unlearn hyper-independence, nervous system overload, and emotional labour… while still holding it all together.
What we’re discovering, individually and collectively, is that exhaustion isn’t always solved by sleep. Anxiety doesn’t always fade with a mindfulness app. And rest isn’t something you earn; it’s something you require.
So let’s talk about what’s really going on, and how a new wave of women is turning to restorative mental health practices not as a luxury, but as a lifeline.
CHRONIC STRESS ISN’T JUST “IN YOUR HEAD”
For decades, the dominant message for women has been: do more, look calm doing it, and smile while your brain quietly spirals. But research now shows that chronic low-grade stress, the kind that simmers beneath the surface, isn’t benign.
According to Dr Libby Weaver, nutritional biochemist and author of Rushing Woman’s Syndrome, women are living in a near-constant state of “fight or flight,” even when there’s no immediate danger. This triggers a flood of cortisol and adrenaline, wreaking havoc on the nervous system, hormones, gut, and sleep cycles.
What’s worse? We’ve normalised this state.
Feeling anxious all the time? That’s just life.
Wired at night but sluggish all day? Get a coffee.
Can’t rest even when you want to? Welcome to womanhood.
But that’s changing, because women are exhausted of being exhausted.
WHY WOMEN FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING
It’s not just biology. It’s the invisible script so many women are handed: be helpful, be needed, be good. This emotional conditioning trains us to overfunction, even when our bodies are crying out for rest.
The result? Internalised urgency.
We’re constantly bracing for the next thing. We can’t “switch off” because our minds are looping over the what-ifs. We want to rest, but it feels unsafe, unproductive, or even selfish. It’s a survival pattern. One that’s kept generations of women running on fumes.
But there’s a shift happening now. More of us are opting out of the rush. We’re learning to listen to the whispers before they become screams.
THE RISE OF RESTORATIVE MENTAL HEALTH
Unlike crisis-response models of mental health, restorative approaches focus on regulation, not just recovery. They’re about repairing what’s been frayed, not just patching over the symptoms.
Here’s what that looks like in practice:
Nervous system work: Modalities like somatic therapy, breathwork, and vagal toning help calm the body before the mind even catches up.
Rest rituals: Think yoga nidra, non-sleep deep rest (NSDR), or simply lying on the floor and doing nothing. Yes… nothing.
Emotional unhooking: Practices like boundary-setting, parts work (often associated with Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy), and inner child healing teach us to release patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism.
Nature-based therapy: From forest bathing to barefoot grounding, we’re rediscovering how the natural world regulates our internal world.
This isn’t about fixing ourselves. It’s about remembering who we were before we felt responsible for everything.
“I’M RESTING” (BUT ARE YOU REALLY?)
Here’s the thing: scrawling self-care into your calendar isn’t the same as actually downshifting your nervous system.
We’re so used to high-alert states that true rest can feel uncomfortable, like something’s wrong. But that discomfort is just your body adjusting to stillness. It’s proof that you’re healing.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel safe doing nothing?
Do I notice my breath when I’m sitting still?
Do I check my phone the moment I pause?
Rest isn’t a spa day. It’s a nervous system choice, over and over again.
Disclaimer: The content provided on Muse Paper is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding your health, medical conditions, or treatments. Any reference to physiological changes or health-related conditions is for general awareness only and does not constitute therapeutic advice. Muse Paper does not advertise or promote therapeutic goods, in accordance with the Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA) Code.
MUSE PAPER
ISSUE 07