THE ART OF BOUNDARIES: HOW TO SET THEM AND WHY THEY MATTER
By Nicole Fuge
Because everyone loves to praise busyness and putting everyone else first, setting boundaries can sometimes feel a bit selfish or awkward. But here’s the thing: boundaries are absolutely essential for looking after your mental health, having healthier relationships, and living a life that actually reflects your values. Whether it’s with family, work, or friends, getting comfortable with setting boundaries can totally transform how you feel day to day. It’s not about being tough or saying “no” all the time—it’s about creating space for what really matters to you.
What Are Boundaries and Why Are They Important?
Boundaries are the limits you set to define what you are willing to accept and what you’re not. These can be physical, emotional, mental, or even digital. They act as guidelines for how you interact with others and how you allow others to interact with you.
Healthy boundaries:
Protect your energy and reduce burnout.
Enhance relationships by promoting respect and understanding.
Boost self-esteem as you honour your own needs and values.
Provide clarity in communication, preventing misunderstandings.
Signs You Need Better Boundaries
You might need to reassess your boundaries if you:
Regularly feel overwhelmed or resentful.
Struggle to say "no" and often overcommit.
Feel guilty for prioritising your needs.
Experience frequent conflicts or misunderstandings in relationships.
Recognising these signs is the first step to reclaiming your time, energy, and emotional space.
5 WAYS to Set Boundaries
1. Identify Your Limits
Reflect on what makes you uncomfortable or stressed. Are there recurring situations where you feel taken advantage of or disrespected? Knowing your limits helps you define the boundaries you need.
2. Communicate Clearly and Kindly
When discussing boundaries, be direct but empathetic. For example:
“I need some quiet time after work to recharge, so I won’t be available for calls during that time.”
“I’m not comfortable discussing [specific topic], and I’d appreciate it if we could avoid it.”
3. Start Small
If setting boundaries feels daunting, begin with minor ones, such as limiting how often you check emails outside work hours. Success in small areas can build confidence to tackle bigger challenges.
4. Stay Consistent
Upholding boundaries is just as important as setting them. If you waiver, it may send mixed signals, encouraging others to test your limits.
5. Be Prepared for Pushback
Not everyone will welcome your boundaries, especially if they’ve benefitted from your lack of them. Stand firm and remember that protecting your wellbeing is not up for negotiation.
Boundaries at Work
Workplace boundaries are crucial for avoiding burnout and maintaining productivity. Examples include:
Setting limits on overtime or answering emails after hours.
Delegating tasks or asking for help when your workload becomes unmanageable.
Politely declining projects that don’t align with your role or capacity.
Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries in personal relationships foster mutual respect and emotional safety. Examples include:
Communicating your needs for alone time or space.
Setting limits on how much emotional labour you’re willing to take on.
Distancing yourself from toxic dynamics.
Digital Boundaries
In the age of constant connectivity, digital boundaries are more important than ever.
Limit social media usage to specific times of the day.
Turn off notifications during personal or family time.
Unfollow or mute accounts that negatively impact your mental health.
The Benefits of Healthy Boundaries
When you commit to boundaries, the benefits ripple through all areas of life. You’ll notice improved relationships, reduced stress, and a greater sense of control over your life. Most importantly, setting boundaries helps you honour the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself.
Establishing boundaries isn’t always easy, but it’s an act of self love and empowerment. It’s about creating space for your wellbeing, priorities, and happiness. By embracing boundaries, you’re not just protecting yourself—you’re setting the stage for a more beautiful, balanced and fulfilling life.
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